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      小學生英語笑話故事:Sobriety Test
      An Alexander County Deputy pulled a car over on I-57 about 2 miles north of the Missouri State line.
      When the Deputy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Branson to do a show that night and didn’t want to be late.
      The deputy told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn’t give him a ticket.
      The driver told the deputy that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle.
      The deputy told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his squad car and asked if he could juggle them.
      The juggler stated that he could, so the deputy got three flares, lit them and handed them to the man.
      While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the squad car, a drunk got out and watched the performance briefly, he then went over to the squad car, opened the rear door and got in.
      The deputy observed him doing this and went over to his squad car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.
      The drunk replied, “Might as well take my ass on to jail, there’s no way in hell I can pass that test!”
      小學生英語笑話故事:Elderly Proposal
      There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was awidower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
      Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After about six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered. “Yes. Yes, I will.”
      The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. No even a faint memory. Withtrepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”
      He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.” Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”
      A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it’s too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. “What’s wrong” asks the mother. “I was taking pee and this bullet came out” replies the daughter. The mother tells her it’s okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. “Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out”. Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. “It’s okay” says the mom, “I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out.” “No,” says the boy, “I was jerking off and I shot the dog.”
      小學生英語笑話故事:Still A Virgin
      “Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?”
      “My child, you have been a married woman for many years. You have had three husbands! Surely that cannot be.”
      “Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said he’d get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look. But this time, father, I’m marrying a lawyer and I’m sure I’m going to get screwed.”
      小學生英語笑話故事:Cause I’m Blonde
      A girl came skipping home from school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only couto four, but I
      counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”
      “Very good,” said her mother.
      “Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
      ‘Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”
      The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. “Mommy, Mommy,”
      She yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? a, b, c, d, e,f, g!”
      “Very good,” said her mother.
      “Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
      “Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”
      The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy, Mommy,”
      she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! !” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
      “Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.
      “Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”
      “No, Honey, it’s because you’re 25.”