In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the“unpardonable1.” I gave the class homework! Theassignment was to “go to someone you love withinthe next week and tell them you love them. It has tobe someone you have never said those words tobefore or at least haven”t shared those words withfor a long time.”
Now that doesn t sound like a very toughassignment, until you stop to realize that most ofthe men were over 35 and were raised in thegeneration of men that were taught that expressingemotions is not “macho.” Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done. So thiswas a very threatening assignment for some.
At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happenedwhen they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer6, aswas usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quitemoved and a bit shaken.
As he unfolded out of his chair(all 6 2″ of him), he began by saying, “Dennis, I was quiteangry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn t feel that I had anyone tosay those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?
“But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that Iknew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.
“You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disaGREement and really neverresolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to atChristmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.
“So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell myfather I loved him.
Say I love you 說我愛你
最近在我執教的一個成人班級里，我干了一件“不可饒恕的”事情。我居然給班上的學生布置了一份家庭作業!任務是“下周之內要走到你所愛的人面前，告訴他們你愛他。此人必須是一位此前你從未對之說過此話的對象，或至少很久沒有與他們交流過這些愛意盎然的話語了?！?br /> 聽起來這不像是一份苛刻的任務，直到你意識到這個班里多數男生已年逾35歲。何況在他們成長的那個年代，他們受到的是這樣的灌輸：流露情感沒有“陽剛之氣”。人們不會輕易流露情感和哭泣(老天也不允!)。因此對某些人來說，這是一項令人生畏的任務。